Learning about trust on a new level

May 23, 2014

According to the dictionary trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. As believers, our first attempt of trust is when we accept Christ as our personal Savior. However, over the past couple years and even more so in the past couple weeks, Rod and I have experienced a totally different level of trust.
More than 50 years ago, we put our faith in Christ and “trusted” him as our Savior. Looking back at that trust now, it seems like it was so simplistic. Sincere as it was, it is far different from the trust we are experiencing daily. As we face the few remaining weeks (2-3 from a medical perspective) of Rod’s life on earth, that child like trust becomes much deeper. As children, I doubt we knew all the ramifications of trusting, but were more concerned with making sure we were safe from an eternity in hell after some teacher let us know how horrible it would be. These days as cancer, pain, and drugs tend to take over the body and mind, we are now faced with a different level of trust.
During the night when the effects of the cancer and drugs seem more complex and difficult to deal with, and are inclined to throw us off course, we are reminded anew that trust is more than an escape from the fear of eternity in hell that scared us into trusting God’s plan of salvation. God is God and his attributes do not change when our emotions do. He is truth, a refuge and our strength (to name a few) when events in the course of the day/night seem to overwhelm us and we search for understanding. In our desire to finish our course on earth by remaining faithful to the end, trust has become a more complex idea. The God we have taught about, served and love, now asks us to trust him when death is knocking at the door; when cancer and medications are causing the body and mind to focus on things other than reality and truth. During the night when sleep evades us, we spend hours focusing on the God who is truth and realize afresh our trust is more of a conscious effort to acknowledge God and rest in the fact that he alone is our refuge and strength. When the mind plays games to undermine us so we lean toward fear, we find we need to trust that our God is worthy of praise and worth resting/trusting in him because of who he is.
Rod’s health continues to decline each day. He says he isn’t in much pain and for that we continue to praise God. We are drawing near the end and we are preparing for that. For Rod it will be a glorious release from the body and he will be present with his Lord. For me it will be a release from watching my dear husband lose ground daily. Life for both of us will go on. For though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we can do so without fear for God’s rod and staff comforts us. We will trust in the one who is ever present, ever knowing, and ever powerful.

One response to Learning about trust on a new level

  1. Linda, we are praying regularly for you, Rod, and the rest of the family. Thanks for sharing with us.
    Jack and Anna Ryan
    Belton, MO